What I Learned About Project Management By Planning My Wedding: Part 1
Me and my fiance, Todd. Photo Credit: Phillip Tiburcio
I got engaged on July 4th, 2022. It was a magical day - Todd proposed at my Uncle Steve & Aunt Margot’s cabin on Ann Lake, MN during our family’s annual 4th of July picnic. It was awesome- exactly what I would have wanted if I could’ve planned my own proposal… Being that he and I are both project managers, I expected the ensuing months to be relatively easy. I thought, “Hey, I do this for a living! A wedding is just a project, and I can totally handle that. Right?” Turns out, that was not quite right...
I will admit, I have a leg up on a lot of other brides, being that I eat, sleep and breathe project planning. However, no one really prepared me for the way I would feel in managing this project. At work, I can take myself out of lots of the stress and problems within a project. If something gets delayed, or missed, I’m not thrilled, but I’ve learned to not take it personally. That wasn’t so easy to do with my wedding, though. My wedding is going to be a reflection of me and my fiance, and try as I might, I am taking the whole thing very personally.
And, I find that I’ve been learning (and re-learning) some very good lessons with respect to project management. So, as I get ready to say “I Do,” I am going to share those key lessons in this blog series. I hope you will enjoy reading what I’ve learned and re-learned, and I also hope to help any other brides & grooms out there on the internet who want some help in planning one of the best days of your life… Also, if you are reading this and you have planning tips and tricks you learned by planning your wedding (or any other big event), I hope you will share them in the comments!
Lesson #1: Focus on One Thing at a Time
I mentioned that I got engaged on July 4th, 2022... What I didn’t mention was that my [then] boyfriend and I started the construction phase of a kitchen renovation project on June 27th, 2022, and I started a new 20-hour per week consulting contract on July 11th, 2022. In other words, I was in the middle of A LOT of moving parts. I needed to pick out tile and countertops and cabinet colors, and then find a venue, pick a dress, figure out the best wedding website to use, start getting a handle catering contracts, and figure out who the heck this new client team was, when we were going to have our weekly team meetings, and oh yeah- where exactly are we at with that project budget?… Within a week and a half, I was in tears. Full-blown, full-body sobbing tears. Questioning my entire life tears.
Thankfully, I have a very kind and patient fiance. And after some very heart-felt conversations, we decided to put a pin in most things wedding-related until the kitchen was done. The one task we absolutely needed to do was to find a venue, as that would determine our wedding date. So, for the rest of July, we singularly focused on finding a venue and got ourselves booked for April 1st, 2023. After we signed that contract, I fully stopped wedding planning.
That one move gave me time and space to think and breathe. I was still pretty stressed out with the new client work, and with all of the kitchen-related decisions, but I wasn’t crying every day. Focusing on the kitchen helped me make better decisions about how to use my time (i.e. going appliance shopping instead of dress shopping), and allowed me to take some breaks. Up until then, I wasn’t taking any time to relax or take care of myself because I was trying to handle every detail for my wedding in my spare time.
Interestingly enough, even after our kitchen project ended (which was more towards the end of September), I still kept the “Focus on One Thing at a Time,” rule. After Labor Day, I asked my friends to be bridesmaids. And then I started looking at photographers, while Todd started getting catering quotes. We kept dividing up each of the vendors in that way - we would get one type of vendor selected, and then move on to the next rather than doing them all concurrently. Looking back on it, I can say that the last few months of planning were a lot more enjoyable than the first one was. This has become even more true since the new year started- we’ve gotten most of the heavy lifting out of the way, and now all that’s left is fun stuff (i.e. Bridal Showers & Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties!).
I find that it is really easy to get overwhelmed, especially with projects as big as (or bigger than) a wedding. And in the real world, sometimes we have to tackle multiple areas at once. When that happens, I think the lesson still holds true within each individual area. For example, let’s say on a particular project, you’re responsible for stakeholders and budget. Rather than try to do everything all at once in both areas, you can avoid overwhelm by picking one next step for each. Maybe you need to generate a list of stakeholders before you review it with your project sponsor, and maybe you need a draft budget before you take to a committee for approval. So, you are creating a stakeholder list and making a draft budget, but you are not also conducting stakeholder interviews and requirements gathering, and you are not also base-lining your budget numbers. Focusing on one thing at a time within a particular area can help you focus and also allow you time and space to think and breathe. For me, that has been a huge difference-maker in my wedding project, and something I intend to apply to the future projects that come my way.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
Have you planned a wedding, or other big event? Did you plan it all at once, or did you focus on one thing at a time? What worked best for you?